The Procrastinated Entry.

I have been wanting to write but procrastinated for the longest time, as I can remember.  So this is the story of my life of those moments that I had not penned down my thots.

As office stress started to get more into me, and my menses went haywire, I started exercising (jazzercise @ stomp) in June 2009. Prior to that in Jan 2009, I had a foetus dropped (a miscarriage) without knowing I was pregnant.  Since then I went to see the gynae at General Hospital Malacca.  Was given Clomid to boost fertility and made regular bloodtest periodically.  The first two months of 50mg on Clomid showed that I am not fertile and had not released any eggs whatsoever.  That was the first cycle of Clomid. My weight then was 98kg.

The 2^nd cycle of Clomid, I was put on 100mg and right after two months, the bloodtest showed the same results whilst the sperm count on hubby showed no problem with him.  I was disheartened as my period had gone haywire, I have put on more weight due to Clomid and I have developed high blood pressure.  The doctors were merely trainee-doctors and for the 3^rd cycle, I was to be put on 150mg of Clomid. At this point, my period was 3 long weeks and just 1 week break of the pro-longed menses.

In May, I contacted an old acquaintance, Puan Zubaidah who had wanted me to join jazzercise since 2007 and told her, now I am ready to join her classes.  I met and got to know Sharina the owner of the jazzercise place @ Stomp, and from there I was referred to Dr. Idora Mohd, who is also a regular jazzerciser.  Dr. Idore put me on 2 types of medications (tablets_ to regulate my period again. I was told to continue jazzercise. My weight was then 96kg.

I started Clomid again in June, July and August. All at 50mg of Clomid and I was a regular jazzerciser 3-4 times a week. My menses was heavy so in August, Dr. Idora put me on TRANSAMINE CAP 250mg (2 capsule(s) to be taken 2 times daily for 5 days.  September was fasting month hence I did not go for jazzercise. I did not have my period during fasting month but right on first day of Eid, I had my period and continue Clomid. Clomid’s prescription is to be taken on 2^nd day of period for 5 days.

I was then told if I am not pregnant for the following month, Dr. Idora will proceed with IUI.  Yet, I was advised to then use the ovulation test-kit and to proceed love-making session at 14^th day of period.  I followed all her advice and Alhamdulillah I got pregnant in October at 94kg.

The first trimester was a very trying time.  I was very down and depressed worrying myself to death on how to feed my kid as I was no longer working.  I was overly stressed from all angles too. With Zaeem and mom fighting and hitting me more as the punching bag. I cried and cried TONS and had no appetite to eat.  I had not put on much weight still.

The 2^nd trimester was getting better and I was happy as I passed 3 months I was allowed to drive and as I reach 20 weeks, I was told that it will be a girl and we already called her Marjaan and she was kicking rapidly. I was happy and hubby was touching me a lot and hugging me a lot and kissing me more than usual.  My appetite had increased but I only weight 95.5kg.

Yet, Allah only borrowed Marjaan to me.  At 23 weeks, we lost Marjaan as we found out there were no longer heartbeats at a regular check up.  Hence, on Friday, March 26, 2010, I was given CYTOTEC tablets (200mcg @ MISOPROSTOL B), at a prescription (2 tablets to be taken as directed with meals).  The instructions were to take after food and I shall feel contractions and the following morning to admit myself at the hospital and I will go into labour.

Saturday, March 27, 2010. Atif admitted me at about 8.30am. More tablets were given for contractions at 9am and as I dilated and the contractions were becoming unbearable, I was pushed to the labour room at about 12pm. I gave birth to my angel Marjaan at about 1.45pm.  As I couldn’t eat in the morning, by then I felt, I had no energy already. 

Mama and Atif with Najwa and Musa then took over the burial for Marjaan and we put her to rest next to my late dad. I stayed in the hosp with my cousin loan-ed to me by her husband, Minna stayed with me for a nite. Qurban came to visit me and picked her up the next day.

Sunday, March 28, 2010. I was discharged with the following tablets:

ZINNAT 250mg @ CEFUROXIME B

(1 tablet to be swallowed whole 2 times daily for 5 days)

ULTRACET @ TRAMADOL + PARACETAMOL (Y) B

(2 tablets to be taken 8 hourly, when required may cause drowsiness – controlled medicine)

XANAX 0.5mg @ ALPRAZOLAM PP

(1 tablet to be taken 2 times daily for 10 days – avoid alcoholic drink, if drowsy do not drive/operate machinery – controlled medicine)

DORMICUM 15mg @ MIDAZOLAM PP

(Half tablet to be swallowed every night for 10 days – with or without food, avoid alcoholic drink, if drowsy do not drive/operate machinery)

Later as I went to confinement, it was very trying as well, especially when the breasts were so painful and full of milk. Atif went to get some tablets for me and I was given DOSTINEX 0.5mg @ CABERGOLIN B (Half tablet to be taken 2 times daily for 2 days with meals – if drowsy do not drive/operate machinery).  Honestly, the tablets to relief the pain on the breasts did not help much, as I continued to massage and release one or two drops of milk and put cabbage a lot on the breasts!

I only stayed for 3 weeks of confinement in Melaka, and continued the remaining days of confinement in Subang Jaya with Atif. I managed 2 times of massage with a mid-wife while in Melaka and the 3^rd massage in USJ.

Will write more soon.

Penned on Monday, July 19, 2010 at 13:15pm.

Maddie

Brownie-baking (Saturday, April 25, 2009)

And delivered to my first customer. (Note that the No. 1 in the background has got nothing to do with this baking being my first sold item). Hehe..!

Here are the double brownie with cheesy peppermint sauce in between and chocolate frosting on top, up close and personal.

These small slices made up to another box altogether.

The forth corner and I managed to get small slices in between that 4 corners.

The 2nd and 3rd corner.

Then I cut them into 4 separate corners. This is the first corner.

Then only I covered with the chocolate sauce and freeze it in the fridge for an hour or so for the cheesy mint and the topping to hold together.

Then I lather the cheesy mint (peppermint) sauce and put the other brownie on top.

Once mixed with water or milk if (you like your brownie a bit milky) and melted butter, I divided the portion into two and bake them in two separate trays.

This is the flour all mixed with sugar and cocoa powder and baking soda.

As I have baked brownies several times, I have come up with ideas of double layer brownies, with cheesy-mint in the middle, and chocolate frosting on top. These pictures were brownies that was my first sale. At RM80 for 1 whole tray of brownies, I managed to get 5 small boxes like these pictures above. My very first customer was my new BFF Fenny Aprilin Tanza. Enjoy the pictures.

Maddie

Brownie-baking (Sunday, Apr 19, 2009)

I truly cant remember, when I did the chocolate sauce and top all for portions and to whom I gave these brownies to.

The forth portion with the cheesy mint sauce.

The third portion with the cheesy mint sauce.

The second portion with the cheesy mint sauce.

Then I cut the brownies into four portions. This is the first portion with the cheesy mint sauce.

Then made the cheesy mint sauce.

I baked one large tray.

This is my third attempt of brownie baking according to the MWW's recipe again. However, these pics were taken up to the cheesy mint sauce later and as far as I remembered, I gave some to Madd my student to eat, as well as, to take home, and after that, I started to make the double layer brownies. Enjoy the pictures.

Maddie

Najwa's Brownies (Mon, Feb 9, 2009)

Tapi hakikatnya baking brownies using butter is better cause the result of putting margarine jadiknya gini.. Tapi bedal ajelah.. Hehe...!

Once done and pre-cut like these nampak macam ok aje kan..

My lil sis Najwa loves brownies so much that she started baking them too. Here are a couple of pictures of her brownies. She learned that putting margarine and butter makes the outcome of the brownies differ as margarine makes them crumbled as the 2nd picture above.

Maddie

Brownie-baking (Fri, Jan 16, 2009)

First attempt at baking this layered brownie memang poyo aje hasilnya. But I have now mastered the skill and slowly but surely, I have learnt how to make the peppermint layer not to thin (cair) and the chocolate sauce just nice.

Yet I still cut them into pieces and store them for give-aways.

Tapi tak cukup keras agaknya..

This is the 3-layered brownie up close and personal.

Then I cut the brownies.

Pour the chocolate sauce on top of the cheese layer. Cool it again in the fridge and Wallah...

Then I made the chocolate sauce.

Spread the peppermint cheese layer and put the tray in the fridge to harden the cheese kekononnya.

Put the brownie back into the tray.

Then I made the peppermint cheese layer.

Once it's done, I flipped it over to cool it off.

My brownie before entering the oven.

This is the pic from the MWW mag.

My first attempt of brownie baking was at Hafie's house and the activity was due to this first picture above, an inspiration from Malaysian Women Weekly's Magazine with Daphne Iking on the cover. Since then, I have been perfecting my brownie-baking skills from time to time. Enjoy the pictures.

Maddie

Brownie-baking (Saturday, Nov 22, 2008)

And this is the pumpkin licking the leftover from the mixing bowl.

This is the already baked brownie.

This was my very first attempt of brownie baking on my own with my pumpkin Rayyannah at SJ home. We did this on a Saturday, on Nov 22, 2009.

Maddie

Muffin-Baking (Sunday, June 7, 2009)

All muffins all packed to go.

The muffins baking away.

The last tray.

The second tray.

The second tray.

The first tray.

I baked these strawberry muffins and sent some for Lisa's birthday as well as drum-circle meeting at Yuen-Li's facilitator meeting at Nomad Adventure. Enjoy the pictures.

Maddie